Weekday Vegetarian: White Bean Stew with Porcini and Winter Squash : TreeHugger

9 01 2011

Weekday Vegetarian: White Bean Stew with Porcini and Winter Squash : TreeHugger.





Pig attacks Tiger, defends Frog – Yahoo! News UK

22 12 2009

Pig attacks Tiger, defends Frog

Miss Piggy is the latest celebrity to chime in on the Tiger Woods saga. Skip related content

The high-maintenance Muppet laid into the troubled golfer during a pre-recorded chat for the Wendy Williams Show in the US.

She also revealed what would happen to Kermit the Frog if he ever tried anything similar.

The interview is due to be aired on Friday.

But in a snippet carried on People magazine’s website the porcine princess reveals: “My Kermie is nothing like (Tiger). I just want to say, he would never do anything untoward moi.

“But if he did, you can rest assured there’d be a hole in one… and he’d be the one”.

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Crossing a bridge with Bob Proctor

22 12 2009

Once, a man named Joe and his little girl were crossing a wooden-bridge in Tarrytown, New York. Joe was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, “Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.” The little girl said, “No, Dad. You hold my hand.” “What’s the difference?” Asked the puzzled father. “There’s a big difference,” replied the little girl. “If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.” In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. As you may already know, over the last 40 years of Bob Proctor’s life he’s been holding people’s hands and leading them step-by-step across the bridge to a life of richness and success. If you allow him to hold your hand… he promises to keep your faith and lead you to a world of insane wealth and prosperity. Click here to find out exactly how he’ll be holding your hand and leading you step-by-step to the other side of the bridge: http://su.pr/1ufnTj

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The Christmas Tree – A very Special Card

22 12 2009

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How did they find these?

22 12 2009

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, “Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.”


Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
– Mark Twain
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
– George Burns
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
– Victor Borge
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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
– Mark Twain
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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
– Socrates
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
– Groucho Marx
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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
– Jimmy Durante
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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
– Alex Levine
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Money can’t buy you happiness … but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
– Spike Milligan
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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
– Joe Namath
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I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.
– Bob Hope
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
– W. C. Fields
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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
– Will Rogers
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Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
– Winston Churchill
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Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
– Phyllis Diller

 


For lovers 

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Year’s Best Headlines

22 12 2009


THE YEAR’S BEST (actual!) HEADLINES 
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges 
You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ 
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 
No, really? 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ 
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 
Now that’s taking things a bit far! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ 
Panda Mating Fails; 
Veterinarian Takes Over 
What a guy! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ 
Miners Refuse to Work 
after Death 
Those good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ 
Juvenile Court to Try 
Shooting Defendant 
See if that works any better than a fair trial! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ 
War Dims Hope for Peace 
I can see where it might have that effect! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ 
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile 
Ya’ think?! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ 
Cold Wave Linked to 
Temperatures 
Who would have thought! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ 
Enfield Couple Slain; 
Police Suspect Homicide 
They may be on to something! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~ 
Man Struck By Lightning: 
Faces  Battery Charge 
He probably IS the battery charge! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ 
New Study of Obesity Looks forLarger Test Group 
Weren’t they fat enough?! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ 
Astronaut Takes Blame for 
Gas in Spacecraft 
That’s what he gets for eating those beans! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ 
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks 
Do they taste like chicken? 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~ 
Local  High School Dropouts Cut in Half 
Chain-saw Massacre all over again! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ 
Hospitals are Sued by 
7 Foot Doctors 
Boy, are they tall! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ 
And the winner is…. 
Typhoon Rips Through 
Cemetery; Hundreds Dead 
Did I read that right?

 

 

___________________________________________________________________

For lovers 

http://su.pr/ANpJtl #giftidea

Join  5 Million For Change http://su.pr/4KhyN1 and make a difference!

For Grandma who has everything http://su.pr/6pnDX6 #giftidea

_____________________________________________________________________________

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They Walk Among Us!!

22 12 2009

*Caution… They Walk Among Us!*
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted…..’Look at that dead bird!’ Someone looked up at the sky and said…’where???’*

**They Walk among us!!*
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the north?’ When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, ‘Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff.’ *

**They Walk Among Us!!*
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but ‘didn’t
think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving’.*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!*
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it’s designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped………… She keeps it in the trunk…*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!*
My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases.. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount…. *

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!*
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, ‘Wouldn’t the chain rip out every time she turned her head?’ I had to explain that a person’s nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned…*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!! *
I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me, ‘Has your plane arrived yet?’…*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!*
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding.
‘Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.*

**Yep, They Walk Among Us, too!*

*Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they reproduce, and vote!!!!*

___________________________________________________________________

For lovers http://su.pr/ANpJtl #giftidea

Join  5 Million For Change http://su.pr/4KhyN1 and make a difference!

For Grandma who has everything http://su.pr/6pnDX6 #giftidea

_____________________________________________________________________________

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